Update to my update

I typed this this morning and I wanted to still publish it.  A more recent update is below.

Grant had a pretty good day yesterday and slept well last night.  This morning his pain has increased again so we are trying to get that under control.  This has definitely been a roller coaster ride so far.  It just feels like we aren't making much progress.  Everything seems to be remaining about the same.  He has been agitated and seems frustrated this morning.  He got a CT scan around noon yesterday, but none of the doctors have been in to tell us what it showed.  That has been frustrating for me.  Some of his blood counts dropped overnight and there was increased blood in his urine.  It sounds concerning, but I don't really know what any of that means.  Please pray for: a spirit of peace over Grant, that his pain would subside, that the doctors would give us some answers, and of course, for complete healing. 

Update:

The trauma team came in to give us an update.  His kidney still looks very beat up which was to be expected.  But, God totally revealed himself in the report.  When he injured the kidney, it nearly split it in two.  Most people have one artery going to their kidney.  If that had been the case, he probably would have lost at least half his kidney.  However, God gave Grant 2 arteries going to his kidney.  One went to each side and that's the reason they were able to save his kidney.  God created Grant perfectly at birth.  He's not surprised by anything.  God is so good.  The rest of the report pales in comparison to that story.  There is still blood in his output because of the trauma to the kidney.  We are waiting for that to heal itself (God's design), enough to move to the next step.  Basically, he's going to be here for a few more days at least.  God is doing the healing and we just have to wait.  

Grant got some pain meds and has had some visitors.  The combination has helped him feel better.  We are actually planning a wheelchair ride outside later.  He's going to continue to be up and down for a while.  We are just along for the ride. 

Thank you again for your continued support.  The texts are very encouraging and your acts of kindness are overwhelming.  

Here we are again….

I’m sitting in another hospital room, blogging my thoughts as therapy. No mother wants to be here. No parent wants to feel helpless when it comes to taking care of and protecting your child. But, that’s where I am…again. 

This time Grant had a bad bike wreck. We had gone out as a family to walk/ride Friday evening. Of course, coming by it naturally, Grant had to make it into a competition. He and Trent were going to try to ride 2 loops before Rudy and I could walk one. They took off and just as we got to the edge of the park, we saw Trent riding toward us, not the path he should have been taking. He was very concerned and told us Grant had crashed. As we ran toward him, we could hear him crying out as he laid on the ground.  This kid has been through it and it’s not often that he complains of pain.  He’ll complain of a bug bite, but not pain. 🙃  I knew he was hurt but there was no visual evidence of where. I went home with the other three kids to get a vehicle while Rudy stayed with Grant. Once Rudy got him in the truck, they went straight to Cook Children’s urgent care in Prosper. As soon as they saw him and heard what had happened, they wanted to send him to a hospital. He was transported to Medical City Plano (because they are level 1 trauma) by ambulance. After X-rays and a CT scan, they determined that the damage was to his left kidney. They did an angiogram to try to stop the bleeding. He was admitted to ICU for monitoring and that’s where we are as I write on Sunday evening. 

SO. MANY. EMOTIONS. 

But the most overwhelming one is PEACE. 

God has been faithful so many times (as you can read in this blog) that I know I can trust him to be faithful now.  Don’t get me wrong…this situation stinks. And if I could go back and change it, I would. But the peace that passes understanding is a real thing when you know Jesus. Know Him! Trust Him! He is good and he cares for us. 

This time things have been a little different because Grant is 15, not 5. He has already been reflective on how God is going to get the glory from this situation. Where is the “good” that is going to come from this? I’m thankful that I’m seeing my children live out the truths they know. God IS good. He WILL be glorified in all things. We can TRUST Him. He IS faithful. Prayer works! 

We live in a fallen world. Things are hard. Our hard may be different than somebody else’s hard. But God is always the same, yesterday, today, and forever. 

I could go a lifetime without ever having to see one of my children in a hospital bed again. But reality is, that may or may not happen. (And if you know us very well, it’s not likely.). But either way, my faith is in the the One who created them. And I choose to trust that he holds them, and me. And one day, we will have no more pain and suffering and will spend eternity praising our Savior. Thank you Jesus!

We are also so thankful for our people, our friends and family that have rallied around us. We have been blessed by so many of you. 

We continue to ask for prayers. Grant is still in a lot of pain that is hard to manage at times. His kidney seems to have begun healing itself. But the doctor told us this will be a lengthy road to full recovery. 

 

Happy 9th Birthday!!

 

As always, Grant's birthday has been a day of reflection for me.  His leukemia diagnosis came on this day 6 years ago.  6 years?!?  I really can't believe it!  It seems like yesterday and so long ago all at the same time.  It's amazing to me the things that Grant does not remember about this horribly traumatic experience.  But, he still has a story to tell. 

He doesn't remember all the pokes...pokes in the finger, pokes in the arm, pokes in the back, pokes in his port.  He doesn't remember crying over the pain in his legs.  He doesn't remember being bald.  He doesn't remember slurred speech, drooling, and not being able to stand up during a TIA episode. He doesn't remember the fretful nights of fever wondering if we should call the Dr. and go to the ER.  He doesn't remember the anesthesia that he had such a hard time waking up from.  He doesn't remember all the medication he took and how awful those dang steroids made him feel.  He doesn't remember being isolated from children.  He doesn't remember the fear, frustration, anxiety, helplessness and pain.

But, when we talk about his story, the first thing he will tell you is that GOD healed him.  Grant remembers that so many of our wonderful friends and family prayed for him.  He remembers that people came to visit him and do nice things for him.  He remembers that he loved getting to eat whatever he wanted in the hospital.  He remembers that the nurses (and child life) were nice and took good care of him.  He remembers that we got to go to Disney World and Lighthouse Family Retreats.  He remembers that he was given an amazing playground for our backyard.  And, of course, he remembers all the sporting events we got to attend.  These are the important things!! :)

I have scrapbooked Grant's cancer journey so that he can remember...the good and the bad.  But, it's all part of his walk with the Lord....the good that we could see in the moment and the bad that God turned to good.

We are so blessed to be on this side of the fight.  We are thankful that God chose to heal Grant and truly believe that He has big plans for him. God is good and in control, even when we think our circumstances are not good and things are out of control.  We will choose to remember that God conquered the fear, frustration, anxiety, helplessness and pain and in it's place brought healing, peace, comfort, wisdom, and freedom. 

We serve an amazing, loving God.  I can't imagine going through this life without knowing Him.  And I can't imagine facing eternity with uncertainty.  If you do not know Him, you can.  You just need to Admit that you are a sinner and are separated from God because of it.  Then, Believe that Jesus is God's son and died on the cross to forgive those sins.  Finally, Confess that you need His forgiveness and are saved by His grace.

Life is hard and knowing God doesn't prevent you from going through struggles.  He just gives you the tools you need so that you can live in abundant joy, no matter the circumstances.

I am thankful for Grant's story and pray that God will always be glorified through it.

Cured?!?!

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my favorite 8-year old!  And happy "cured from cancer" day.  What does that mean?  I don't really know, because, in my mind, he has been cured for a long time.  But, today marks 5 years from the day Grant was diagnosed with leukemia, the official cured date.  So, it has caused me to do some reflecting, of course.  But, I as I sat down to write this, I became speechless.  I am just so overwhelmed by what the Lord has done!  I am so excited that we get to see what special things God has for Grant.  I just always remember that our lives were not "normal" for a season.  And now I pray that Grant will not be "normal".  I am hopeful that God has amazing for Grant and that Grant will answer the call.  And I cannot think of this season of life without remembering all of our prayer warriors.  We are so thankful for each prayer said on our behalf to the God that hears each one.
We are celebrating this day with a Rangers game.  Baseball is an obsession for Grant.  And we have been able to attend many games and do some fun things with the Rangers through cancer organizations.  The Rangers have never lost a game that Grant has attended.......Let's go Rangers!!

A Whole Year?!

Wow, I haven't posted an update in so long, I don't know where to start!
As we began our school day yesterday, Grant was looking at the calendar.  He immediately said, "It's been a year."  It took me a second to realize what he was saying.  Then he clarified for me, "It's been a year since I stopped taking my chemo."  Yes it has!!  Can you believe we have lived and entire year of "normal" life?  That seemed like a day that would never come in the midst of treatment.  But, here we are - a whole year!
Grant is still seeing Dr. Heym regularly.  He will go in September and then begin an every other month routine.  Each time, they do a blood analysis and a physical.  Grant has been passing with flying colors.
However, we did discover something unusual.  A couple of months ago, Grant was subconsciously touching his chest where his port used to be.  I reminded him it wasn't there.  He told me very seriously that something was there.  I thought it was all in his head until I started looking closer and touching it.  It sure did seem like something was there, but I kept telling myself there couldn't be.  So, we finally asked Dr. Heym about it.  I was thinking he was going to tell us it was scar tissue.  Grant is very thin and it is easily visible.  But that is not what he told us.  A piece of Grant's port was left in his chest.  What?!  How does that happen?
At that point, the doctors gave us 2 options.  They said that he could probably leave it in and live "harmoniously" with it for the rest of his life.  Or we could have it removed.  "Harmoniously" sounded like a nice word, but we are talking about the rest of the life of a 7-year old.  There were also some other risks, although unlikely, risks nonetheless.  So, to the great disappointment of Grant, we have opted to have it removed.
Grant will go into the surgery clinic today at 3:30 for the procedure.  They are going to do it in the office with a local anesthetic.  Please pray that Grant will be cooperative and this will go smoothly.  We've tried to sweeten the deal with his choice of lunch before and Sweet Frog's yogurt after, but he's still upset that he has to do this at all.
This is very frustrating as a parent.  But, at this point, all we can do is deal with the situation at hand.  We have so much to be thankful for.  God has answered so many prayers and never left us.  And He will go with us today too!

The Port is Out

Grant's surgery was successful.  We were at the surgery center for about 3 hours, most of it spent waiting.  The nurse, anesthesiologist, & doctor all came to see him.  He chose strawberry flavored gas to put him to sleep, but he told us in recovery that it was not good.  Once they took him back to surgery, the procedure took less than 30 minutes.  He only has 2 stitches on the inside and a bandage on top.  It did take him a while to wake up, but that was expected and typical for him.  Once he did wake up, he downed 2 popsicles and was ready to go.  He was starving, so we stopped for a Sonic grilled cheese on the way home.  He's taking it easy this afternoon, but seems to be doing fine.  He's already trying to clarify the doctor's statement of "no rough-housing for 2 weeks."

So many emotions today.  I feel like this is more final than stopping medication.  That this is a step of faith that he will no longer need that port.  So excited for him to move forward from this chapter of life. And so proud of the brave little guy he has become.  I feel like this is really THE END.

No News is Good News

Well I can't believe I haven't posted since the first day of school.  Ironically, Grant is no longer in school.  We began homeschooling 2 weeks ago and we are both having a great time.  God has really blessed this decision.

In medical news, Grant has been doing amazing.  After stopping chemo, his counts have been "perfectly normal".  :)  You know how carefully I use the term "normal".  He continues to see Dr. Heym every 4 weeks and is getting a great report each time.  Because of these good reports, we have reached another milestone in this process.  Grant will have his port removed on Monday at 9:30 a.m.  We took a picture of what it looks like with it in as a little momento.  

He says he is ready and it seems to be so.  I explained the process to him and all that was going to happen that day and he responded with a simple "ok".  Maybe he is more ready and relaxed than mom. I am so thankful that this day has arrived and it's just another answer to many prayers that he no longer needs his port.  However, I never like it when they have to put my baby under anesthesia.  Thankfully, he is so big and brave at this point, Rudy and I won't even be in the room when they put him under.  They will just wheel him back and give him "flavored" gas to put him to sleep.  (He's still trying to decide which flavor he will choose.)  They told us the procedure usually lasts less than an hour.  

I remember sitting in the waiting room 3 1/2 years ago when they placed his port.  I remember how scared I was of the uncertainty that lay ahead.  Today, as tears come to my eyes, I rejoice in the faithfulness of my God.  I rejoice in the strength of my son.  I rejoice in the trials and where they have brought us.  I rejoice in the many blessings and miracles God has given us.  I leave you with the words that have echoed in my mind and heart over the last 3 1/2 years.  God is Good!