Happy Birthday Grant!

I'm exhausted tonight. We celebrated Grant all day! He even started saying, "but, it's my birthday." We started off with a trip to the zoo with Nana. The boys had a great time and it was a beautiful day for the zoo. We had a picnic that included a piece of birthday cake from last weekend's party. After a little nap, Grant wanted to watch his Bee Movie that he got for his birthday from Uncle Keith. At Grant's request, we had spaghetti for dinner (which he did not eat). Then, he wanted to ride his scooter to the playground at the front of our neighborhood. We only made it to the one about halfway. His energy level is definitely down. But, Trent had a blast trying to keep up on the tractor. When we got home, we topped off the day with chocolate chocolate chip ice cream. After a bath (and medicine), it was off to bed. What a day!

I've been dreading today for a while now. But, it was not as bad as I was expecting. With a 4 year old and almost 2 year old, there isn't a lot of time to think...thankfully. My thoughts today went back and forth between where we were a year ago and how far we've come. But, I battle my thoughts (fears) everyday. I have to surrender Grant to God everyday and know that He holds Grant in the palm of his hand, and Trent, for that matter. What beautiful gifts God has given us!

Do not fear...for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you.... Isa. 41:10

No Pokes, Just a Party

Grant wrapped up his 5 days of steroids on Friday and had a pretty good weekend. His stomach is distended but, hopefully, that will go away quickly. He is still very emotional and it goes both ways. One minute he is screaming at everyone and the next he is being as sweet as can be. Trent doesn't understand why he tells him he loves him so many times a day. ;)

We've been celebrating his birthday at almost every opportunity. So, this weekend we had a little family party. Of course, he had a blast. And he loves every chance to eat sweets. Unfortunately, he does have a sweet tooth. But, it's a double-edged sword. That was something that went away and he didn't want anything sweet at the beginning of this process. So, it's nice when you see something go back to "normal".

Grant's diagnosis coincides with the opening of the clinic we go to in Grapevine. So, today we attended a birthday celebration for the clinic. Grant was so excited to go to the clinic just to play with his friends. No pokes, no medicine, not even a blood pressure check. It was very humbling to be there with some that are walking through this with us. All but one of the children there today were ahead of Grant in their treatment schedule. However, all of them are having or have had recent complications or delays. I am so grateful for all of you that continue to pray Grant through. We still have a long way to go.

Those Darn Steroids

Today is the last day for this round of steroids. Thank goodness! I want to give you an idea of the effect they have on him. He can't control his emotions and then that frustrates him even more - to be out of control.
He has never acted out at school. He does everything they ask and is a good student. Even when he would be having trouble at home before he got sick, I would ask if he was doing the same things at school. They would look at me like I was crazy b/c he would never do anything wrong at school. He went to school yesterday. His teacher told me that he had a really hard day. She said he just lost it a few times, but he always recovered. For him to do this at school just shows that those steroids are making him crazy.
He simply cannot control himself sometimes. When I ask him why he's crying he says, "I don't know." When I suggest that he stop if he doesn't know why he's crying he says, "I can't". It sounds so defeated like he really would love to stop crying but doesn't know how to make his body do that.
Please pray for Rudy and I and everyone else that takes care of Grant as we continue to find that balance of parenting Grant while we are sensitive to his situation. And, of course, please continue to pray for Grant as he deals with all that is going on in his body.

Run, Grant, Run

Last week was a really great week for Grant. He was feeling good (his stomach wasn't distended), eating well, and had lots of energy. One day we walked to a neighborhood playground for my exercise. It's about 2 miles one way. After we had played there for a while, Grant decided he wanted to run on the way back. That crazy kid RAN the whole way home. I kept asking if he wanted to ride on the stroller for a rest, but he just kept running. It actually made me so happy for him that he was working so hard sweat was pouring down his face. He has felt GREAT!
That's why it was so hard to go to the clinic today for his scheduled visit. Everything went as expected; he did great with everything except accessing his port. But, he did get his chemo and start his steroids again. Hopefully, he will have another great month as we begin to celebrate his birthday. Yes, it's not just a one-day celebration. We took cookies to the clinic today to celebrate his birthday there since we will not be back for another 4 weeks. He was very excited to share his cookies with all of his friends (nurses).

Reflection

This Year
Last Year

Right now, when I think about the last year, it brings thoughts of fear, hurt, helplessness, sadness. But, when I really dig deep, I remember that God has brought us through all of that and I actually have a great feeling of pride for the champion we have in Grant. That doesn't stop the sad thoughts from coming. It just helps overcome them.

It seems that my mind immediately went into reflection mode in April, these being the last days that Grant was well, I guess. Last year we had taken pictures in the bluebonnets. Rudy and I looked at those pictures a lot after Grant was diagnosed and had lost his hair. So, we went and took new pictures in the bluebonnets. I think this will now be a tradition.

I've mentioned to several of you about Grant's hair. Grant losing his hair was one of the most traumatic things for me. It was a visual realization of what was happening to my little boy. And it was so difficult to hear everyone tell me that it was going to come back different. I didn't want it to come back different. I liked it the way it was. Well, I love it now. I love that it came back curly. My mom always thought that we were going to have a curly-headed kid like their mama. We just didn't know cancer was going to be the route we were going to have to go. :)

Even as I write this, my mind wanders to all that has happened in the last year. One thing I can say with certainty is that we are so thankful for the prayer warriors that continue to fight this battle with us.

I am sure that there will be more entries like this as I continue to reflect on the last year, especially as we approach Grant's birthday/diagnosis day.

Happy Easter

We are thankful today to reflect on how much Jesus loves us as we celebrate His death and resurrection. We are blessed!

Disney on Ice

It was our lucky day. I won tickets to Disney on Ice on a radio station. So we got to go to Fort Worth with our friend Meg and her mom to see the show. The kids were so excited. Grant told us so the whole day and the entire way there. Mickey Mouse was Grant's favorite. Trent just pointed at everything with wide eyes. It made me feel very old. I knew most of the characters, but not any of the new ones. And poor Grant didn't know any of the ones with princesses. He just wanted to see Mickey Mouse, who was on the ice for most of the show, so that was good. We all had a really fun time.